I don't like bullies...
Mar. 7th, 2025 08:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
glassy_witchI don't think anyone does.
For most of us, I think, that means we are aware of our own behaviours, and would avoid stepping over that line into bullying. I am sometimes too concerned, perhaps, that I have the ability to be too close to that line. Not through intent, but simply because in my role, if I were to take a dislike to someone more junior, my feedback on their performance might be coloured by that dislike. My remedy for that is to gently but firmly refuse to supply feedback which might potentially impact their career. My dislike of someone does not automatically mean I am right in my view of them, or their work. How can I say, 100% guaranteed, that my opinion of them isn't distorting what I see in their work? If two people made exactly the same mistake, one of whom I was not keen on, and another about whom I was largely ambivalent, or that I liked...would I treat them both the same? I'd like to think so, I'd love to believe that I could be objective enough to look at the incident in isolation. Buuuuuut I am fairly sure I'd mess up somehow, and no one deserves that.
This is a fairly constant worry of mine - the "Am I treating this person fairly". Not because I dislike a lot of people, I don't, generally. But I am always keenly aware of my potential impact on others, and do whatever I can to avoid that impact being negative. I used to think almost everyone went through life like this, but recently, my belief in that has faltered, and stumbled, just a little bit.
Around me, I hear grumbles of discontent, of anger, of feeling very much put-upon. And I am hearing it from people I never would have expected to. Comments along the lines of "why should I do [x] if no one else does?". And it's gone way beyond dropping litter, or returning your trolley at the supermarket instead of abandoning it.
Thing is, I've always held that although I know that a few people out there will, if given an inch, take a mile - I still have to be true to who *I* am, and to the standards of behaviour I would like to see in others. I understand how difficult it can be, when all around you, the example being set by the powerful in particular, is so desperately poor.
As a minor example - the utter contempt shown by Rees-Mogg toward anyone else. Yes, he has money; yes, he wields a certain amount of political power; yes, he benefitted from one of the better educations money can buy and yes, he has benefitted from family connections stretching back decades or more. But he simply is not a very nice person, and not a particularly good example of a human being. So to my mind, why would I want to follow such a poor example? I don't. And even if it brought me the money he has? It's just not worth it. I would rather be me, knowing that I am doing my best and that even though I will be little more than a footnote in history (as I suspect is also true of Rees-Mogg), I want to always try and be on the RIGHT side of history.
Because the more of us who stick to the right side of history, the more our species can achieve, can learn, can improve. And at the end of the day, what else can you hope for?
For most of us, I think, that means we are aware of our own behaviours, and would avoid stepping over that line into bullying. I am sometimes too concerned, perhaps, that I have the ability to be too close to that line. Not through intent, but simply because in my role, if I were to take a dislike to someone more junior, my feedback on their performance might be coloured by that dislike. My remedy for that is to gently but firmly refuse to supply feedback which might potentially impact their career. My dislike of someone does not automatically mean I am right in my view of them, or their work. How can I say, 100% guaranteed, that my opinion of them isn't distorting what I see in their work? If two people made exactly the same mistake, one of whom I was not keen on, and another about whom I was largely ambivalent, or that I liked...would I treat them both the same? I'd like to think so, I'd love to believe that I could be objective enough to look at the incident in isolation. Buuuuuut I am fairly sure I'd mess up somehow, and no one deserves that.
This is a fairly constant worry of mine - the "Am I treating this person fairly". Not because I dislike a lot of people, I don't, generally. But I am always keenly aware of my potential impact on others, and do whatever I can to avoid that impact being negative. I used to think almost everyone went through life like this, but recently, my belief in that has faltered, and stumbled, just a little bit.
Around me, I hear grumbles of discontent, of anger, of feeling very much put-upon. And I am hearing it from people I never would have expected to. Comments along the lines of "why should I do [x] if no one else does?". And it's gone way beyond dropping litter, or returning your trolley at the supermarket instead of abandoning it.
Thing is, I've always held that although I know that a few people out there will, if given an inch, take a mile - I still have to be true to who *I* am, and to the standards of behaviour I would like to see in others. I understand how difficult it can be, when all around you, the example being set by the powerful in particular, is so desperately poor.
As a minor example - the utter contempt shown by Rees-Mogg toward anyone else. Yes, he has money; yes, he wields a certain amount of political power; yes, he benefitted from one of the better educations money can buy and yes, he has benefitted from family connections stretching back decades or more. But he simply is not a very nice person, and not a particularly good example of a human being. So to my mind, why would I want to follow such a poor example? I don't. And even if it brought me the money he has? It's just not worth it. I would rather be me, knowing that I am doing my best and that even though I will be little more than a footnote in history (as I suspect is also true of Rees-Mogg), I want to always try and be on the RIGHT side of history.
Because the more of us who stick to the right side of history, the more our species can achieve, can learn, can improve. And at the end of the day, what else can you hope for?
no subject
on 2025-03-07 01:00 pm (UTC)Yes, there will always be others that don't meet the mark but we must be careful to not let that inexorable fact color our hearts in ways that we become ugly by it.