Curriculum Vitae
Mar. 23rd, 2025 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
glassy_witch...oh, how I hate to try and write thee!
I've been reading a LOT of posts on LinkedIn recently, mainly from recruiters telling me what I SHOULD be doing with my CV. Telling me how if MUST be in this format...no no, THAT format. That it MUST (never) contain that detail. That it should (not) be presented in this template. That Ai can (never) replace the human-written piece.
And then in march the CV reviewers, telling us how only THEY know how to beat the Ai that is (not) being used by all (anuy) potential readers of your life's work...
Oh dear me.
I have a problem with this document at the best of times. I can tell you where I've worked, sure. I can tell you the things I did there while I was there, generically. But what I can't tell you, is if I was any good at it. I mean. I like to think I was. And I know a fair few people who were telling me I did fine. I have thank you emails, cards, and even gifts from customers, employers, and colleagues I could point to that suggest I wasn't awful. But the thing I can't do? I can't put any of that into words within the confines of a CV. Because frankly, it sounds like being boastful. Not only that - what if the people who were saying thank you and being so pleased (a) were expecting me to make a complete hash of everything so even getting it vaguely right was a big deal in their eyes (b) simply had really low standards (c) the thing I did was a big deal under some very specific and never-to-be-repeated conditions? Let's face it - turning water into wine as it poured from one receptacle to another would be impressive on an open mountain top, in full view of the observers. But a bit easier when achieved over several minutes in the confines of a wine cellar when a bucket of water was brought in and bottles of wine were "magically" produced in return.
The long and short of it is, that while I can be quietly confident about something in my head...I will NEVER say it out loud. Not only that, but in the workplace, I always seek collaboration and partnership to make things work. So it was NEVER all me. And I am at great pains to remind people of that every time. I couldn't have built a process and shown it working WITHOUT the buy in from other people to at least give it a go and feed back what worked, and what didn't.
So in short, I will never have a CV that sells me. I can't do it. And I feel remarkably uncomfortable when people try to suggest ways of saying things that attempt to sell me. It's just not me. And CV writing companies who want 250 quid off me to try and do it? No thanks. You guys are just vultures, feeding off the desperation of those searching for jobs in a tricky time. If you genuinely want to help people - just do it. Don't dress up your sales pitch as being anything other than what it is. Dishonesty is distasteful and really quite unnecessary.
Oh, and employers...The use of ATS and suchlike? I can't understand why it's allowed for automatic decision making to be absolutely fine in this area, when the GDPR tells me I can choose to remove myself from such things. But I will tell you that more and more, you will have Ai fighting itself, with so many out there offering ways to "cheat" ATS using their own Ai-written versions of a CV. It's insane.
So no. I will keep my bland and dull CV as it is, and hope someone out there might one day read it if i go job hunting again. No, it won't land me any of the big jobs, no C-suite roles for me. Then again, I've never wanted one. I like to get things done quietly in the background. I am not looking for the limelight and I don't want the stress of having to perform for the shareholders or the industry "leaders". I'll be over here, doing my best to make my boss look good and promote my teams achievements.
As an aside - if you have already retired, or if you have been lucky enough to be so stable in your employment history that you haven't needed to look anywhere for work in the past decade? Good for you! You're very fortunate and I am pleased for you. The landscape out there these days is very different. Even I remember trudging around, weighed down with multiple copies of my CV day in the day. That's not going to work any more. Newcomers to the job market - even seasoned potential employees - are now almost entirely at the mercy of the computers spitting out an answer to the recruiter or hiring manager. It's now the case that the older you are, the harder you have to lean on the people and connections you've made over time, rather than letting the CV do the talking for you.
I dont know where I am going with this ramble. I guess I am just bored of the substance-less but boastful, selfiah shitbags being lauded and feted for being wonderful (which any sane person can see they are not), as they make more and more money off the hard work of other people. All the while good people - people I KNOW are more than worth their salt - struggle to find jobs and pay their bills. Meanwhile, we applaud the obscene wealth of the few, when it has been reached through theft - of ideas, of land, of lives - the mistreatment and blatant disregard for others or the environment.
It's all just a bit much.
I've been reading a LOT of posts on LinkedIn recently, mainly from recruiters telling me what I SHOULD be doing with my CV. Telling me how if MUST be in this format...no no, THAT format. That it MUST (never) contain that detail. That it should (not) be presented in this template. That Ai can (never) replace the human-written piece.
And then in march the CV reviewers, telling us how only THEY know how to beat the Ai that is (not) being used by all (anuy) potential readers of your life's work...
Oh dear me.
I have a problem with this document at the best of times. I can tell you where I've worked, sure. I can tell you the things I did there while I was there, generically. But what I can't tell you, is if I was any good at it. I mean. I like to think I was. And I know a fair few people who were telling me I did fine. I have thank you emails, cards, and even gifts from customers, employers, and colleagues I could point to that suggest I wasn't awful. But the thing I can't do? I can't put any of that into words within the confines of a CV. Because frankly, it sounds like being boastful. Not only that - what if the people who were saying thank you and being so pleased (a) were expecting me to make a complete hash of everything so even getting it vaguely right was a big deal in their eyes (b) simply had really low standards (c) the thing I did was a big deal under some very specific and never-to-be-repeated conditions? Let's face it - turning water into wine as it poured from one receptacle to another would be impressive on an open mountain top, in full view of the observers. But a bit easier when achieved over several minutes in the confines of a wine cellar when a bucket of water was brought in and bottles of wine were "magically" produced in return.
The long and short of it is, that while I can be quietly confident about something in my head...I will NEVER say it out loud. Not only that, but in the workplace, I always seek collaboration and partnership to make things work. So it was NEVER all me. And I am at great pains to remind people of that every time. I couldn't have built a process and shown it working WITHOUT the buy in from other people to at least give it a go and feed back what worked, and what didn't.
So in short, I will never have a CV that sells me. I can't do it. And I feel remarkably uncomfortable when people try to suggest ways of saying things that attempt to sell me. It's just not me. And CV writing companies who want 250 quid off me to try and do it? No thanks. You guys are just vultures, feeding off the desperation of those searching for jobs in a tricky time. If you genuinely want to help people - just do it. Don't dress up your sales pitch as being anything other than what it is. Dishonesty is distasteful and really quite unnecessary.
Oh, and employers...The use of ATS and suchlike? I can't understand why it's allowed for automatic decision making to be absolutely fine in this area, when the GDPR tells me I can choose to remove myself from such things. But I will tell you that more and more, you will have Ai fighting itself, with so many out there offering ways to "cheat" ATS using their own Ai-written versions of a CV. It's insane.
So no. I will keep my bland and dull CV as it is, and hope someone out there might one day read it if i go job hunting again. No, it won't land me any of the big jobs, no C-suite roles for me. Then again, I've never wanted one. I like to get things done quietly in the background. I am not looking for the limelight and I don't want the stress of having to perform for the shareholders or the industry "leaders". I'll be over here, doing my best to make my boss look good and promote my teams achievements.
As an aside - if you have already retired, or if you have been lucky enough to be so stable in your employment history that you haven't needed to look anywhere for work in the past decade? Good for you! You're very fortunate and I am pleased for you. The landscape out there these days is very different. Even I remember trudging around, weighed down with multiple copies of my CV day in the day. That's not going to work any more. Newcomers to the job market - even seasoned potential employees - are now almost entirely at the mercy of the computers spitting out an answer to the recruiter or hiring manager. It's now the case that the older you are, the harder you have to lean on the people and connections you've made over time, rather than letting the CV do the talking for you.
I dont know where I am going with this ramble. I guess I am just bored of the substance-less but boastful, selfiah shitbags being lauded and feted for being wonderful (which any sane person can see they are not), as they make more and more money off the hard work of other people. All the while good people - people I KNOW are more than worth their salt - struggle to find jobs and pay their bills. Meanwhile, we applaud the obscene wealth of the few, when it has been reached through theft - of ideas, of land, of lives - the mistreatment and blatant disregard for others or the environment.
It's all just a bit much.