I have a friend...
Dec. 14th, 2025 09:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
glassy_witch...I know - it may come as a shock. But thankfully, that's not the reason for this post.
Recently, said friend made the absolutely heartbreaking decision to leave a job he truly loved, and at which I can say with all honesty, he was amazing at doing. His reasons for leaving amount to little less than workplace bullying and utterly toxic management.
Now, any employer will likely have a policy these days that says you can't say anything detrimental about said employer. And that bringing them in to disrepute is a no no. That's...fair enough. But now imagine that your employer tells you that you are not allowed opinions, that you are not allowed to spend time with certain people or groups, that you absolutely must turn your eyes away rather than call out shitty behaviour... Ridiculous, right? Then bring in a late diagnosis of ADHD, which reframes your perception of self and finally starts to loosen the shackles of self-hatred...Just for colleagues to get upset that they can no longer control you the way they once did, leading to the employer attempting to tighten the shackles right back up.
So...he resigned. Walked away from something he had built through his sheer optimism, curiosity, and love of sharing.
And there are people out there, who know nothing of him, or what happened to him, trying to make out that it's an over reaction. People saying, with their full chest, that they hate that he is warm, caring, shows empathy, and embraces inclusion.
Imagine being so full of your own bullshit, that you see someone - who would even defend YOU - as a threat to be eliminated, even after they have already walked away from anything you might have encountered anyway. The mental gymnastics these people have to go through is...weirdly impressive. I sit here and read some of it and have to remind myself not to respond. For a start, I dont want to draw attention to their antics because I KNOW that my friend will already have seen a lot of it and been upset by the casual cruelty and misrepresentation. If I go chucking my tuppence worth of "fuck yous" to the bullies, he'll see that and then feel bad about any backlash I get from the keyboard warriors out fo virtual blood. But what I want to do...REALLY WANT to do, is grab one or two of the posters who've cited one particular opinion they take umbrage with and ask them
.. "And how, exactly, has this opinion hurt you or anyone else?". Because yes, some opinions are harmful and hurtful. Others are not. Even if later those opinions turn out to be "wrong" in some way, they hurt precisely nobody. Because they dont call for the "othering" of a minority, for example. They don't advance one group at the expense of another. If you can be so nasty about opinions like that? You're a bit of a failure as a human being. He's nicer than me though and would likely tell me off for thinking that way.
Thing is, he doesn't NEED defending. The indefensible is actually the total lack of compassion or conscience exhibited by those who caused his decision,or by those crowing over it.
Love you matey. You're a much better person than me, and here's to the next chapter, free of the dead weight.
Recently, said friend made the absolutely heartbreaking decision to leave a job he truly loved, and at which I can say with all honesty, he was amazing at doing. His reasons for leaving amount to little less than workplace bullying and utterly toxic management.
Now, any employer will likely have a policy these days that says you can't say anything detrimental about said employer. And that bringing them in to disrepute is a no no. That's...fair enough. But now imagine that your employer tells you that you are not allowed opinions, that you are not allowed to spend time with certain people or groups, that you absolutely must turn your eyes away rather than call out shitty behaviour... Ridiculous, right? Then bring in a late diagnosis of ADHD, which reframes your perception of self and finally starts to loosen the shackles of self-hatred...Just for colleagues to get upset that they can no longer control you the way they once did, leading to the employer attempting to tighten the shackles right back up.
So...he resigned. Walked away from something he had built through his sheer optimism, curiosity, and love of sharing.
And there are people out there, who know nothing of him, or what happened to him, trying to make out that it's an over reaction. People saying, with their full chest, that they hate that he is warm, caring, shows empathy, and embraces inclusion.
Imagine being so full of your own bullshit, that you see someone - who would even defend YOU - as a threat to be eliminated, even after they have already walked away from anything you might have encountered anyway. The mental gymnastics these people have to go through is...weirdly impressive. I sit here and read some of it and have to remind myself not to respond. For a start, I dont want to draw attention to their antics because I KNOW that my friend will already have seen a lot of it and been upset by the casual cruelty and misrepresentation. If I go chucking my tuppence worth of "fuck yous" to the bullies, he'll see that and then feel bad about any backlash I get from the keyboard warriors out fo virtual blood. But what I want to do...REALLY WANT to do, is grab one or two of the posters who've cited one particular opinion they take umbrage with and ask them
.. "And how, exactly, has this opinion hurt you or anyone else?". Because yes, some opinions are harmful and hurtful. Others are not. Even if later those opinions turn out to be "wrong" in some way, they hurt precisely nobody. Because they dont call for the "othering" of a minority, for example. They don't advance one group at the expense of another. If you can be so nasty about opinions like that? You're a bit of a failure as a human being. He's nicer than me though and would likely tell me off for thinking that way.
Thing is, he doesn't NEED defending. The indefensible is actually the total lack of compassion or conscience exhibited by those who caused his decision,or by those crowing over it.
Love you matey. You're a much better person than me, and here's to the next chapter, free of the dead weight.